When it comes to excuses for being late for work, a new study shows American employees are very creative.

While traffic and lack of sleep top the CareerBuilder survey of employees’ tardiness explanations, a wide range of more unusual excuses from a cat having the hiccups to thinking they might have won the lottery also cropped up among the nation’s workers when they failed to show up on time.

The creativity may be necessary given the number of times such excuses are needed: Overall, 16 percent of employees arrive late to work once a week or more, the study revealed. Nearly 30 percent come in late at least once a month.

I hate to tip my hat as to which video is most impressive to this particular writer, but in the spirit of debate here are your two options. The paper plane toss is remarkable in its own way. All my paper planes nose dived within a foot or two unless a penny was taped to the tail. Furthermore, I’m an extremely picky eater. Jalapenos, onions and pepper jack cheese never tempt my palette. Ahhh… who am I kidding? Burgers Rule!

The first competitor in the video showdown is the new record for a paper airplane toss distance:

The second competitor in the video showdown is your everyday run of the mill burger commercial:

Most ‘ghost chilis’ eaten in two minutes

The Bhut Jolokia pepper, better known as the ‘ghost chilli’ is one of the hottest chillies in the world, coming in at just over one million on the Scoville scale for chili heat; 200 times more spicy than a jalapeño pepper. Most people can’t even manage one of these deadly peppers without diving for a glass of water, but Indian woman Anandita Dutta Tamuly managed to eat an astounding 51 of them in two minutes. As if that wasn’t crazy enough already, she bizarrely ‘celebrated’ by rubbing the seeds of the chili into her eyes when she had completed the challenge.

Biggest gingerbread house

With a confectionery construction effort that would put the witch from Hansel and Gretel to shame, Roger Pelcher entered the record books by building the largest gingerbread house the world has ever seen. The house, which should probably be described as more of a mansion, is 20 metres (67 feet) tall and took Roger and his team nine days to build.

Largest burger

The title of World’s Largest Burger is a frequently broken one that has been held all around the world, but at the time of writing the holders are ‘Juicys’, an outdoor food specialist who set the record at Alameda County Fair in California. This beast of a burger weighed in at a staggering 352kg (777 pounds) and had to be moved around with a fork lift truck. At 1,375,000 calories, an adult man could get his recommended daily calorie intake from this cow-sized burger for nearly a year and a half.

Fattest town

Kenny Motherf#*king Powers will bombard his way back into our living rooms Sunday night, when the third season of HBO’s “Eastbound & Down” premieres. Every man wishes they could be Kenny and get away with it. From his unique, beer-based training regiment to his keen eye for style, he inspires us to be lesser men. Won’t you toss a couple back with us as we enjoy his triumphant return? Just follow these simple rules and you’ll be buzzing like a high-and-tight heater from the hurler. Kenny is back. You’re welcome!

One drink for each:

• Poor parenting choice
• Euphemism for a fast ball or any other pitch
• Sip of alcohol an on-screen character has
• Powers humblebrag
• Overt Powers brag
• White-trash vehicle
• F-bomb dropped

Two drinks for each: