Somewhere, right now, an adult is quoting an interesting animal “fact” that he actually learned from an old cartoon. Or from some other equally unreliable source. This is why sayings like “blind as a bat” persist even though bats can in fact see.

#5. Mother Birds Abandon Their Chicks if You Touch Them

A would-be robber picked the wrong store to hold up. And it turns out that holding a bag open is the perfect set up for a left cross.

26-year-old Derek Mothershead is a clerk at the We Buy Gold Store in Hendersonville, N.C. After a previous robbery at the store Mothershead was on high alert and in no mood to be messed with again. He clobbered 25-year-old Mostafa Kamel Hendi with a left cross when Hendi pulled what turned out to be a pellet gun on him.

The kind clerk did offer some paper towels instead of cash while they waited for the police to arrive.

Hendi was being held on $100,000 bond.

Life is full of happy little accidents, mistakes that wind up working out in the end. They’re the best part of, say, painting a picture or baking a pie. But where you don’t find happy accidents is on the battlefield, where brilliant commanders will use the slightest misstep against you. In war, you do it right, or you die.

That’s what you’d think, anyway. Sometimes, even in war, a little stupidity can work to your advantage.

#5. The British Accidentally Announce Their Surprise Attack on the News

Wikipedia Commons

In 1982, Great Britain and Argentina were fighting over a small island grouping called the Falklands, and Britain was losing. In need of a quick victory to reinvigorate the campaign, operational planners closed their eyes, took out a map and (we can only assume) played pin the tail on the Falklands to decide where to attack.

The selected town was called Goose Green. To prepare, 690 Royal Marines stealthily broke off from the main contingent and moved down to set up the attack. It was all ready to go for May 28, but then …

The Screw-Up:

It’s that time of year when the weather gets colder and people start missing work because of illness.

Or because of bats in the hair. Or deer bites. Or from back injuries sustained while chasing a beaver. Yep, these were just some of the excuses people used when calling in to their boss to say that they’d be out for the day.

In CareerBuilders.com’s annual survey, one-third of employers reported that workers call in sick more often during the winter holidays than any other time of the year.

Many of our most cherished Christmas songs bring back memories of holidays past and help to praise the birth of Jesus. There are a handful of songs that seemingly have nothing to do with Jesus, Santa or anything Christmas related. For example, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” tells a story of a stubborn man and his failed attempts to keep a lady in his house. Some people can’t accept no for an answer. Read along as AGP breaks down the lyrics of this stalker-esque man’s over-bearing and somewhat sadistic ways of trying to trap this innocent girl after an apparent bad first date.

You’ve seen the video. Now let’s translate the lyrics.

SANDUSKY, Ohio    – Police say a karaoke singer who was booed soon after taking the stage at Cabana Jack’s punched three people in the face when bartenders tried to kick him out.

Isiah Johnson, 20, was singing karaoke at the tavern “when people started booing at him,” a bartender told cops. In response to the razzing, Johnson “threw down the microphone,” according to a Sandusky Police Department report.

A raging Johnson left the bar, returned and was asked to leave a second time. He then allegedly began punching guys in the face. Three men were hit according to the report filed.

WEST MONROE LA. – Police busted up an early morning bumper car contest by drivers using handicap scooters at Walmart. Around 2:30 AM police responded to a call about a disturbance. Store management told cops that a group of intoxicated suspects were “playing ‘bumper cars’ with the handicap scooters in the store,”  according to a probable cause affidavit. Most got away as the cops showed up, with only  Christopher Butler, 22,  being arrested.
He was described as “very  intoxicated.”

Butler admitted driving his 2004 Ford truck to the retailer after consuming “five to six beers.” A breathalyzer test recorded Butler’s blood alcohol content as .133 (the legal limit is .08).

Watch as 59 Year old Brenda Hewett wins an incredible Christmas gift, a brand new 2012 Ford F-150 from Frenchie’s Ford in Massena, NY! Brenda, who had never held a hockey stick in her life, makes a hole in one from the far blue line. The hole is the same size as the hockey puck. For making the hole in one she has won a brand new truck!

Credit: boston.barstool.com