In 1991, addressing a graduating class of the University of Michigan, U.S. President George H. W. Bush spoke against “a movement [that would] declare certain topics ‘off-limits,’ certain expressions ‘off-limits,’ even certain gestures ‘off-limits’” in allusion to Liberal Political Correctness. Sorry Mr. President, while the students at U of M may have heard your address loud and clear, it seems as though another BIG 10 School can be credited with the modern politically correct movement. According to some it began at the University of Wisconsin, sometimes called “one of the most liberal institutions in the United States.” Political correctness is often viewed as  Liberals degrading of the freedom of speech.  Great, another reason for all you SEC fans to hate the BIG 10! Hey, at least it wasn’t THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY this time!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right? That is what the foundation of OUR Country was based on, freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of religion. Just how far can this movement go?  In 2010, a group of conservatives on the Texas State Board of Education pushed the state to adopt educational standards that emphasized the role Christianity played in America’s founding. Those educational standards also sought to counteract political correctness by removing parts of the curriculum that espoused political correctness and contradicted conservative values. As one of the largest states in the Union, Texas represents one of the largest markets for textbook publishers.   OK, so that sounds good right? What are these words that people are so offended by?

Here are some examples of PC substitutions for some common things that we say :

• “Mentally challenged” in place of “Retarded” and other terms
•  ”African American” in place of “Black,” “Negro” and other terms. (However, “Black” is used in English-speaking countries other than the U.S.)
•  ”Native American” (or “First Nations” in Canada) in place of “Indian”
•  ”Caucasian” in place of “White”, and other terms
•  ”Gender-neutral” terms such as “firefighter” in place of “fireman”
•  Terms relating to disability, such as “visually challenged” or “hearing impaired” in place of “blind” or “deaf”
•  ”Persons of color” in place of “ethnic minorities” or “non-whites” in countries populated predominantly by people who are white.
•  ”Holiday”, “winter” or “festive” in place of “Christmas”
•  ”Residentially Challenged” instead of Homeless.

Advocates of PC language defend it as inoffensive-language usage whose goal is multi-fold:

•  The rights, opportunities and freedoms of certain people are restricted because they are reduced to stereotypes.
•  Stereotyping is mostly implicit, unconscious, and facilitated by the availability of pejorative labels and terms.
•  Rendering the labels and terms socially unacceptable, people then must consciously think about how they describe someone unlike themselves.
•  When labeling is a conscious activity, the described person’s individual merits become apparent, rather than his or her stereotype.

People have to watch what they say and watch what they do! Political Correctness has become a movement in America founded on well-meaning intentions to promote equality in language and representation of diverse groups. However, this has now been oversimplified and misused by politicians in their attempt to win the favor of as many “minority” and interest groups as possible.  The struggle to be “politically correct” has made common people easily irritable and oversensitive to the words of others and their own words. It has created a society that walks on eggshells and that has difficulty being personal with each other because coworkers and potential friends can’t joke around for fear of offending the other. Did you know that the use of the word “American” to describe the United States is being written out of U.S. History and Government textbooks for fear of it being “politically incorrect” and offensive to South Americans and Canadians!

WOW! I don’t know about you, but my head hurts from all of this and I am not sure that I can keep track of what “to say” or what “not to say!” Here is a little humorous cheat sheet to help you! Follow this dictionary and you too will be POLITICALLY CORRECT!

Actor: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth

Actress: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth (and occasionally great beauty)

Android: bipedal, non-human associate, bearing immense knowledge and skill

Bag boy: agricultural product organizer

Bald: follicularly challenged

Bomb: vertically deployed antipersonnel device

Boy: oppressor-to-be

Brainwashing: cognitive accommodation

Cafeteria: dining facility

Car: earth-unfriendly, vertically-challenged mode of transport

Car Wash Worker: vehicle-appearance specialist

Cat: quadruped non-human associate

Cheating: cooperative assignment

Computer: machine bearing immense power and fallibility

Criticism: unjust self-esteem reducer

Dead: metabolically challenged

Demand: propose strongly

Derision: nontraditional praise

Dirty Old Man: sexually focused, chronologically gifted individual

Dumb: cerebrally challenged

Evil: niceness deprived

Exercise: body enhancement through exertion

Failure: non-traditional success

Fart: human ozone depletor; ecologically incorrect expression

Fat: horizontally challenged: person of substance

Garbage collector: sanitation engineer

Gas Station Attendant: petroleum transfer technician

Girl: pre-woman

Guess: anomaly maneuvers: repetitive predictions

Handicapped: physically challenged

Heroine: hera

Homeless person: residentially flexible individual

Hurricane: himmicane (non sexist)

Ignorant: factually unencumbered

Incorrect: alternative answer

Individualism: uncooperative spirit

Information: overly structured trivia

Insane: reality challenged

Kill: creating a permanent state of metabolic dormancy; servicing the target (military)

Lazy: motivation-ally dispossessed

Lost: location-ally disadvantaged

Man: oppressor

Manhole: maintenance portal

Misunderstand: personalized interpretation

Monster: person of scales

Mugging: unforeseen funding of underclass

Murderer: termination specialist

Nerd: under-attractive, cerebrally gifted individual

Numismatist: capitalist monetary acquisition expert

Nut: hexagonal rotatable surface compression unit

Off: energy efficient

Old: chronologically gifted

Perfume: discretionary fragrance

Pervert: person engaged in nontraditional espionage

Pissed off: satisfaction deprived

Political: amorally gifted

Poor: economically marginalized

Prisoner: client of the correctional system

Prostitute: body entrepreneur

Redneck: rustically inclined

Rich: economically maximized

Secretary: stationery engineer

Sex: cooperative physical fitness

Sexist: gender biased with niceness deprived overtones

Short: altitudinally disadvantaged: vertically challenged

Sleepy: under-alert

Smart: cerebrally gifted

Specialist: physician having concentrated on a particular field of tax shelters

Structure: impersonal hindrance

Tall: vertically gifted: altitudinally endowed

Teacher: volunteer knowledge conveyor

Teaching: personality repression

Television: medium of electrons moving in disorganized patterns

Tired: rest-challenged

Uglier: over under-attractive

Ugliest: over-under-attractively gifted

Ugly: under-attractive

Unemployed: non-waged

Unsure: conceptual conflict

Waiter: waitron

Waitress: waitron

White: melanin-impoverished; member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority

Woman: w/o man; womyn

Zipper: interlocking slide fastener

Thank you for reading this week’s “Rosey Outlook.”  Hopefully, I have not managed to make any of my readers “satisfaction deprived!” I am merely a ”volunteer knowledge conveyor” by means of my “machine bearing immense power and fallibility!”  Although sometimes I feel “reality challenged,” I am pretty certain that is just from being “under-alert” and “rest-challenged.”  I welcome any “unjust self-esteem reducers” that you may have!

R