AGP Flashback: September 1, 2011

Was his name-o?

The Dan Truth: B4 and After

There is a dark side to this new trend in online gambling though. I’ve witnessed it myself and it’s not pretty. Not pretty at all. A few weeks ago I stopped by Read More

Chinese Military Training

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Hesitation in this training video could leave you without a hand, arm or life! The Chinese military’s version of boot camp seems a bit crazy if playing hot potato with a hand grenade is part of the curriculum.

The Chip Nazi Prevails Again; His 2nd Win in 3 Weeks

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Week three is in the books and it has been a good start to the season for the greatest home game on the planet. The game featured 7 players as Dan and Ricky were absent and no scabs were present. Troy “KOP” Steffy eliminated 6 of 7 en route to an impressive win last week. Would it be the same this week? This is how it all went down Tuesday night.

1/24/12 Hand of the Night

The first to taste the rail this night was Buzz Finger. After suffering a penalty in week 1, Buzz was at -4 points for the year. He had a dismal performance in week 2, finishing in 8th place and this week was worse. Buzz went first out and lost nearly every hand he played. He happened to play almost every hand that was dealt up to that point. He played rather recklessly and took a string of defeats that would make the 2011 Indianapolis Colts cringe. His demise came when his K-10 was out done by Alan’s K-Q. Buzz not only was first out, but he set a new record for quickest railed at 22 minutes! The previous record was Bryan in 2011 at 45 minutes. Yikes! Buzz did get a point for his efforts but remains in the negative for the season. It should be noted that Buzz is behind Dan and he hasn’t even played a game this season! Double yikes!

Next to go was Troy “KOP” Steffy. Troy was quiet all night, only taking down a few pots. He couldn’t gather any momentum and finally got it all in with pocket 10′s. Unfortunately for him, Alan had pocket Jacks. The Jacks held and Troy was out in 6th.

Alan was a bulldozer early on, knocking out the first two players. He slowly began to lose his momentum later. He took tough hits to his stack from JD, Bryan and Mark in a short period. He went all in 3 times in a row in an effort to steal blinds and regain a little bit back. The 4th in a row didn’t work as planned when his A-8 was out ran by JD’s A-6. Alan was gone in 5th.

Mark was out next. He has continued to show that he’s the most consistent player in AGP by finishing in the middle of the pack again, a feat repeated each week this season. Mark played few hands all night and was very selective deciding which pots to get involved in. He played well all night until his pocket fours were rivered by Mike “Daggum” Krisle’s made straight. Mark’s streak of not being first player busted was extended to 59. Joe DiMaggio has nothing on Mark!

Daggum went out in 3rd. He played well all night but like in week 1 when he finished 3rd, he got short-stacked late. He was railed when his pocket 7′s couldn’t hold up against Bryan’s K-Q. Daggum is off to a good start this season.

Bryan and JD battled heads up through one blind cycle until Bryan lost a huge hand with the infamous A-8 (Dead man’s hand) as it was outdone by JD’s A-2. Bryan was all in the next hand with a Q-7 and was up against JD’s pocket Aces. The Aces held and JD took down his second win in three weeks. Bryan has had a great start to the season with two runner-up finishes in the first 3 games.

JD was also the bounty, helping him earn max points for the evening. With two wins, a knockout and a save, JD has jumped out to a sizable lead in the first quarter. Will anyone catch him? It’s still early in the season and much drama is yet to unfold.

Rosey Outlook: Are you PC?

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Hi, welcome to this week’s “Rosey Outlook.” I will start this week with a disclaimer, this is meant to make you LAUGH! This BLOG is not meant to offend anyone or to poke fun at any person! Just read on and remember LAUGH. It’s just some words on a computer screen!

Remember the days when PC meant Personal Computer? Well, guess what? It has a whole new meaning these days! PC is short for POLITICAL CORRECTNESS!

What Is Political Correctness you ask? Wikipedia says:

Political correctness (adjectivally, politically correct; both forms commonly abbreviated to PC) is a term which denotes language, ideas, policies, and behavior seen as seeking to minimize social and institutional offense in occupational, gender, racial, cultural, sexual orientation, certain other religions, beliefs or ideologies, disability, and age-related contexts, and, as purported by the term, doing so to an excessive extent. While the term politically incorrect has been used as an implicitly positive self-description. The term politically incorrect connotes language, ideas, and behavior unconstrained by a perceived orthodoxy or by concerns about offending or expressing bias regarding various groups of people.

Hmmm… Here is how another Author, that refused to give their name, described what they thought PC was:

 “Political Correctness (PC) is the communal tyranny that erupted in the 1990′s. It was a spontaneous declaration that particular ideas, expressions and behavior, which were then legal, should be forbidden by law, and people who transgressed should be punished. It started with a few voices but grew in popularity until it became unwritten and written law within the community. With those who were publicly declared as being not politically correct becoming the object of persecution by the Media.

Yikes! Guess the Author doesn’t much like the idea!

In 1991, addressing a graduating class of the University of Michigan, U.S. President George H. W. Bush spoke against “a movement [that would] declare certain topics ‘off-limits,’ certain expressions ‘off-limits,’ even certain gestures ‘off-limits’” in allusion to Liberal Political Correctness. Sorry Mr. President, while the students at U of M may have heard your address loud and clear, it seems as though another BIG 10 School can be credited with the modern politically correct movement. According to some it began at the University of Wisconsin, sometimes called “one of the most liberal institutions in the United States.” Political correctness is often viewed as  Liberals degrading of the freedom of speech.  Great, another reason for all you SEC fans to hate the BIG 10! Hey, at least it wasn’t THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY this time!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, right? That is what the foundation of OUR Country was based on, freedom of thought, freedom of speech, freedom of religion. Just how far can this movement go?  In 2010, a group of conservatives on the Texas State Board of Education pushed the state to adopt educational standards that emphasized the role Christianity played in America’s founding. Those educational standards also sought to counteract political correctness by removing parts of the curriculum that espoused political correctness and contradicted conservative values. As one of the largest states in the Union, Texas represents one of the largest markets for textbook publishers.   OK, so that sounds good right? What are these words that people are so offended by?

Here are some examples of PC substitutions for some common things that we say :

  • “Mentally challenged” in place of “Retarded” and other terms
  •  ”African American” in place of “Black,” “Negro” and other terms. (However, “Black” is used in English-speaking countries other than the U.S.)
  •  ”Native American” (or “First Nations” in Canada) in place of “Indian”
  •  ”Caucasian” in place of “White”, and other terms
  •  ”Gender-neutral” terms such as “firefighter” in place of “fireman”
  •  Terms relating to disability, such as “visually challenged” or “hearing impaired” in place of “blind” or “deaf”
  •  ”Persons of color” in place of “ethnic minorities” or “non-whites” in countries populated predominantly by people who are white.
  •  ”Holiday”, “winter” or “festive” in place of “Christmas”
  •  ”Residentially Challenged” instead of Homeless.

Advocates of PC language defend it as inoffensive-language usage whose goal is multi-fold:

  •  The rights, opportunities and freedoms of certain people are restricted because they are reduced to stereotypes.
  •  Stereotyping is mostly implicit, unconscious, and facilitated by the availability of pejorative labels and terms.
  •  Rendering the labels and terms socially unacceptable, people then must consciously think about how they describe someone unlike themselves.
  •  When labeling is a conscious activity, the described person’s individual merits become apparent, rather than his or her stereotype.

People have to watch what they say and watch what they do! Political Correctness has become a movement in America founded on well-meaning intentions to promote equality in language and representation of diverse groups. However, this has now been oversimplified and misused by politicians in their attempt to win the favor of as many “minority” and interest groups as possible.  The struggle to be “politically correct” has made common people easily irritable and oversensitive to the words of others and their own words. It has created a society that walks on eggshells and that has difficulty being personal with each other because coworkers and potential friends can’t joke around for fear of offending the other. Did you know that the use of the word “American” to describe the United States is being written out of U.S. History and Government textbooks for fear of it being “politically incorrect” and offensive to South Americans and Canadians!

WOW! I don’t know about you, but my head hurts from all of this and I am not sure that I can keep track of what “to say” or what “not to say!” Here is a little humorous cheat sheet to help you! Follow this dictionary and you too will be POLITICALLY CORRECT!

Actor: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth

Actress: metamorphosing being, possessing great wealth (and occasionally great beauty)

Android: bipedal, non-human associate, bearing immense knowledge and skill

Bag boy: agricultural product organizer

Bald: follicularly challenged

Bomb: vertically deployed antipersonnel device

Boy: oppressor-to-be

Brainwashing: cognitive accommodation

Cafeteria: dining facility

Car: earth-unfriendly, vertically-challenged mode of transport

Car Wash Worker: vehicle-appearance specialist

Cat: quadruped non-human associate

Cheating: cooperative assignment

Computer: machine bearing immense power and fallibility

Criticism: unjust self-esteem reducer

Dead: metabolically challenged

Demand: propose strongly

Derision: nontraditional praise

Dirty Old Man: sexually focused, chronologically gifted individual

Dumb: cerebrally challenged

Evil: niceness deprived

Exercise: body enhancement through exertion

Failure: non-traditional success

Fart: human ozone depletor; ecologically incorrect expression

Fat: horizontally challenged: person of substance

Garbage collector: sanitation engineer

Gas Station Attendant: petroleum transfer technician

Girl: pre-woman

Guess: anomaly maneuvers: repetitive predictions

Handicapped: physically challenged

Heroine: hera

Homeless person: residentially flexible individual

Hurricane: himmicane (non sexist)

Ignorant: factually unencumbered

Incorrect: alternative answer

Individualism: uncooperative spirit

Information: overly structured trivia

Insane: reality challenged

Kill: creating a permanent state of metabolic dormancy; servicing the target (military)

Lazy: motivation-ally dispossessed

Lost: location-ally disadvantaged

Man: oppressor

Manhole: maintenance portal

Misunderstand: personalized interpretation

Monster: person of scales

Mugging: unforeseen funding of underclass

Murderer: termination specialist

Nerd: under-attractive, cerebrally gifted individual

Numismatist: capitalist monetary acquisition expert

Nut: hexagonal rotatable surface compression unit

Off: energy efficient

Old: chronologically gifted

Perfume: discretionary fragrance

Pervert: person engaged in nontraditional espionage

Pissed off: satisfaction deprived

Political: amorally gifted

Poor: economically marginalized

Prisoner: client of the correctional system

Prostitute: body entrepreneur

Redneck: rustically inclined

Rich: economically maximized

Secretary: stationery engineer

Sex: cooperative physical fitness

Sexist: gender biased with niceness deprived overtones

Short: altitudinally disadvantaged: vertically challenged

Sleepy: under-alert

Smart: cerebrally gifted

Specialist: physician having concentrated on a particular field of tax shelters

Structure: impersonal hindrance

Tall: vertically gifted: altitudinally endowed

Teacher: volunteer knowledge conveyor

Teaching: personality repression

Television: medium of electrons moving in disorganized patterns

Tired: rest-challenged

Uglier: over under-attractive

Ugliest: over-under-attractively gifted

Ugly: under-attractive

Unemployed: non-waged

Unsure: conceptual conflict

Waiter: waitron

Waitress: waitron

White: melanin-impoverished; member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority

Woman: w/o man; womyn

Zipper: interlocking slide fastener

Thank you for reading this week’s “Rosey Outlook.”  Hopefully, I have not managed to make any of my readers “satisfaction deprived!” I am merely a ”volunteer knowledge conveyor” by means of my “machine bearing immense power and fallibility!”  Although sometimes I feel “reality challenged,” I am pretty certain that is just from being “under-alert” and “rest-challenged.”  I welcome any “unjust self-esteem reducers” that you may have!

R

Breed ‘em & Weep: No Fair, I Lost!

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No one likes to lose, especially kids.

When I was growing up my parents always told my sister and I, “It’s not about winning, it’s how you play the game. When you lose, lose with dignity.” I have never been a competitive person and my sister competes mainly with herself. But as a Mom I have experienced some very hostile moments with my son when he’s lost to me or other kids.

I can remember when G first realized that he lost a game. The child looked at me with disgust and said, “Mama no fair, I lost!” He stomped out of the room and wouldn’t talk to me for a whole ten minutes. I laughed it off thinking he was just too young to understand. Little did I know this sore loser would continue with the temper tantrums for almost three years before he would lose gracefully. I tried to teach him that losing doesn’t matter, we should just have fun. But this little boy was having no part of “just fun.” I watched other children play games with him and some would not care at all about losing while others behaved even worse than G. For a time I really didn’t like to play any game with him because I knew he would make such a fuss about not winning. Those children that had good attitudes about losing intrigued me. I wondered what I was doing wrong as a Mom and what was so different about G. And then it happened.

This past weekend we found a pack of UNO cards in the closet. G immediately asked me to play and I was hesitant. We had played MEMORY a couple of times in the past few months and he was still getting really upset when he lost. I have been given advice about letting G win so he felt like he could achieve something. I agreed and disagreed with this thinking. Letting kids win sometimes is not bad. But I didn’t want G to learn a life lesson by getting away with something. So when UNO presented itself I was hesitant. G went to my mom and begged her to play. Soon I heard laughter coming from the back of the house. I stopped folding clothes and just listened. G was giggling so hard, I couldn’t help but laugh too. He soon came running into the living room with a huge grin on his face. “Mom, come see this. I beat Bebe!” I followed him into Mom’s room and he had indeed beaten her. But she had won the first game and he had not cried one tear. I was shocked by his behavior and wanted to see for myself if there was a real change occurring in this little guy’s head.

So we sat down at the kitchen table and played. G concentrated hard to hold his cards correctly and pay attention to each card being laid down. I helped him a bit with his cards but I beat him in the end. And he laughed! He asked to play again and 30 minutes later he finally gave up. I’m not really sure what changed in G but I’m grateful he’s growing. I know he will not always lose with dignity but it’s so cool to see my child mature.

Now I have to teach the other two!

Listography: Top 10 Miami Dolphins of All-Time

This list is comprised of the most talented Miami Dolphins of all-time “According to Ron.” It is not my favorite top 10 players, that’s a different list. AGP fans feel free to request a list you would like to see presented in the future.

 

Super Bowl Super Suite, Only $750,000!

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The Super Bowl. The most epic day in America. The hardest ticket to get into your hot little hands. The perfect opportunity for capitalism and price-gouging to thrive. Want to go? Better have deep pockets.

Face value tickets for the Big Game will set you back $700-$1,200. And fans turning to third-party brokers better brace themselves. The average ticket on the secondary market is going for $3,984.73, according to the New York Post.
But what about options for the so-called 1 percent? How can they turn going to the Super Bowl into a wallet-busting blowout? What’s the most ridiculous way to get into the game?

Sideline tickets are currently going for around $20,000 on StubHub. Really a small price to pay to see Eli Manning’s “emotions” and Madonna’s bicep veins up close. Ballers can also band together with 34 of their buddies to go in on the Super Bowl’s Hope Diamond — a $750,000 suite currently up for grabs. This super-sized package includes tickets to the game in a ground-level suite, catering, drinks and four parking passes. If buying this doesn’t get you laid, nothing will. Bros wanting to throw down on this equally would only be responsible for a paltry $21,428.

For the more fiscally responsible fans, comparable, if slightly less ridiculous, suites are currently available for $617,000 and $500,000. (Makes you wonder if they’d switch out all the Colts decor for your preferred shades of blue and red.

It wouldn’t be the Super Bowl without the tangential media circus surrounding the actual game. A cursory look into the week’s activity reveals that a guy could realize a lot of dreams — for a price. Maxim’s tailgate party, which combines babes with Tony Siragusa and Guy Fieri (get your chicken wings early), is just $600. Playboy’s party, however, will run you $1,150.

Of course, local businesses are jumping into the money-grab. For $170, one company is offering a place for people to crash for the night with sleeping bags. That place is the floor of an office building. All the amenities of home, except actual amenities. Hotel rooms 15 minutes outside the city are available for a cool $500 on Orbitz.com. They normally cost $85.

Now, a sane person realizes that all of these prices are insane. But it’s the Super Bowl. It is the biggest and most important sporting event of the year, a de facto national holiday. Going overboard is a tradition. We eat and drink too much. Companies overpay for commercial time. Gamblers bet money they can’t afford to lose on impossible-to-predict prop bets.

It’s just the way it is. People go big or they don’t go at all. And whoever ends up in that suite come kickoff will certainly be going big.

So we’ve got to ask: If your team was in the Super Bowl, what’s the most amount of money would you pay for a ticket? Sound Off in the comments.

Source: brobible.com

A Whale of the Tail

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Today in inspired feats of profound boredom: eBay user The_Heppcat claims he typed the entirety of Moby Dick on four rolls of single-ply toilet paper to win a bet.

After ten years of sitting in a box in The_Heppcat’s possession, the rolls are now up for auction. Bidding starts at $399.95. As of press time there were no bids.

To prove the authenticity of his Dick rolls, The_Heppcat’s eBay listing includes several videos of the rolls slowly unraveling, set to a hypnotic audio recording of the classic Herman Melville novel.

Source: Digg & eBay via Vol1Brooklyn.com

The Beat: Origins of Poker; Razz

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Stud poker has been a popular form of poker since the early 1900′s. Some forms include 5 card stud, 7 card stud, Caribbean Stud, Pineapple and several hi-lo versions. There is another form of stud that is very popular today in many card rooms around the world and online. In this edition of the “Beat,” the game of Razz is profiled.

It is uncertain on the exact origin of Razz. No one knows for certain who invented the game or where it was first played. Although most followers of the game believe it was developed close after the development of 7-card stud around 1900. One theory as to how the game came about was perhaps a player was having some bad luck and run of cards in 7-card stud. He decided to change the rules and hopefully his luck in the process. It was named Razz from the constant razzing he received from his poker buddies after creating such a wild game. Nonetheless, the game caught on and has been rising in popularity ever since. It remains the most popular form of lowball poker.

Archie Karas

Razz was first played at the WSOP in 1971 where Jimmy Casella won the event and a total of $10,000. In 2004 the game really gained popularity when ESPN televised a Razz event at the WSOP where T.J. Cloutier won the event. Other famous players to win the event include 7 time bracelet winner and lowball specialist Billy Baxter, two time world champion Doyle Brunson, Huck Seed, Ted Forrest and Barry Greenstein. Perhaps the greatest Razz player of all time was a man by the name of Archie Karas. In 1992 he showed up in Las Vegas with only $50. He proceeded to run his bankroll from $50 up to $30,000 playing Razz poker, finishing at the 200/400 Razz game at the Binions Horseshoe Casino. After building his bankroll to well over $4 million by playing poker and pool, he accepted a challenge from Stu Ungar who was regarded as the greatest poker player that ever lived. Karas and Ungar played heads up Razz for several days until Karas busted Ungar for more than $500,000. It was the biggest heads up match since Johnny Moss and Nick the Greek, putting Razz at the forefront of the poker world.

How to play Razz: Razz is a form of 7-card stud in which the lowest hand wins. Razz uses the ace-to-5 scale to rank its hands. Straights and flushes do not count and are not playable. The ace is always played low. The best possible hand is A-2-3-4-5, known as the “wheel.” As in most stud games, antes are usually used over blinds because betting in each round may come from a different player each time. Razz is played in a limit format. Each player is dealt two cards face down and one face up to start. In 7-card stud there is a lead in bet forced to the player with the lowest showing hand. The action starts with the player showing the highest hand in every subsequent round. Similar to that, Razz has the same lead in bet except that the player with the highest showing hand leads out. In each subsequent round the player with the lowest hand starts the action. Three more cards are dealt face up with a round of betting between each one, called 4th, 5th and 6th streets. The last card is dealt face down and is called the “river.” One more round of betting takes place and the cards are revealed. The player with the lowest hand takes the pot.

Strategy for Razz: Razz is a difficult game to master. There are not many players that play this game exclusively, so finding a consistent game can be challenging. However, its popularity has grown in recent years since the emergence of online poker. This first thing to keep in mind is that many people make the mistake of thinking Razz is a game of luck. Remember it is played just like 7-stud, only it is lowball poker. You should play it the same way you play stud except you are looking for the lowest possible hand. Since it is a stud game, you may be out of position quite often. When out of position without an opportunity to steal the pot, you should stick to hands which have three cards to a seven low or better. This can be modified to play 8 low or better depending on the level of competition and type of game. Another strategy is to attack when a player checks after catching a low card. This is generally a sign that they have paired up and their hand is weak. Be careful and wary of players who might be checking a good hand, but in general it is not the case. Possibly the most important thing to remember in Razz is don’t decide to continue beyond 5th street hoping to catch a card. If you catch a bad card and pair up, don’t be afraid to slowdown or get out of the hand. Aggression is very important in Razz but don’t get out of control. Remember that Razz is played limit, making it impossible to bet off your opponent with giant bets and all-ins. Controlled aggression, watching the board and realizing your position are the fundamental aspects that will allow you to be a winning Razz player.

Mike “Daggum” Krisle – Beat Writer – AGP

Urinal Video Games!

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Finally a reason for guys to aim somewhere other than the sides or floor! More impressive would be a woman that was good at the games! Remember to wash your hands after handling the game controller.

Outside Interference: Joe Paterno and Vince McMahon

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Joe Paterno lived from December 21, 1926 to January 22, 2012. He was 85 years old. With all respect to family and friends Joe lived to coach and without coaching, he passed. He took over as Head Coach at Penn State in 1966 where he stayed until forced to resign amid scandal in 2011. Penn State had five undefeated seasons under Joe Pa, (1968, 1969, 1973, 1986 and 1994) along with two National Championships (1982 and 1986). He finished as the winningest coach in college football history with 409.

Joe Paterno and Vince McMahon had several similarities. Both took programs that weren’t performing at their highest potential and turned them into major powers. Both have shown tremendous dedication to one program and have sacrificed countless hours working on producing the best product possible. Both have become icons in their field.

The following are a few of the similarities between Joe and Vince:

Scandal: Joe Paterno was unable to survive the sex abuse scandal at Penn State. He was fired for not properly reporting the actions of Jerry Sandusky. Vince McMahon was acquitted on charges he supplied wrestlers with steroids in a 1994 federal trial.

Charity: Besides coaching, Paterno was also known for his generous charitable contributions, most notably contributions in excess of $4 million dollars to the Penn State academic and sports departments. WWE is involved in multiple charities including, Make-A-Wish, Smackdown your vote, Special Olympics, Be A Star, military and literacy foundations. The Vince McMahon led corporation has donated millions of dollars to these charities, performed hundreds of Make-A-Wish grants and gives all active military free admission to their shows.

Attendance records: A world indoor attendance record of 93,173 fans was set at WrestleMania III in Detroit, Michigan and held until Super Bowl XLV in Dallas, Texas broke it with 103,219. Penn State’s Beaver Stadium capacity is 106,572, growing from 46,284 when Joe Paterno took over the team. The stadium has the 2nd largest capacity behind Michigan stadium’s 109,901.

Joe Paterno turned a respected team that was struggling to be successful at the pinnacle level and made it into a major power through hard work, dedication and heart. The same could be said for Vince McMahon with the WWE. He took a franchise that had not reached its potential in his eyes and turned it into the most popular Sports Entertainment franchise in the world. Paterno survived many adversities like losing seasons where he was asked to step down and persevered until another man’s despicable actions ended his career. McMahon fought off the U.S. Government and WCW to cement his place as the best promoter and visionary in wrestling history. The loss of Joe Paterno is heart breaking to the college football community and the same will be said for the wrestling community when Vince passes.

Rest in Peace Joe Paterno.